Expendable Deadlines.

First of all let me apologise for not updating in a LONG time, because it's sort of ironic since work load and work related problems is what I'm going to talk about. One thing we all prepare for, we dread if we aren't prepared, and we cant wait to be over. No, not the awkward first date with a life long friend, not attempting to move the huge fat guy that passed out on you at that wild party you went to, not even accurately and in brilliant, graphic detail explaining to your lecturer how your bowel movements have had you more committed to your bathroom than a 14 year old who had their first shot and that is the reason you haven't been attending classes, none of these things, but Deadlines.

Deadlines are like the rotten grape of time (yes in this analogy your mere existence is being turned into a fruit basket), you get it, inevitably. You pick it up, throw it to the back of the basket (your mind)and leave it there, carelessly. Little do you know the rottenness is actually a bacterial grape infection and will pass onto all your other fruit, eventually, as all the grapes are gone, all you are left with is a few mouldy pears, a brown banana and the one grape. The deadline. You have to eat that grape, or else you wont get your 5 a day, and we know how bad that is in this health crazed society (or miss the deadline in this analogy keep with me!)you think, oh that's fine, ill just help my self to a pear of socialising or a banana of relationships, but no, the deadline has infected them too, making it impossible for you to eat anything until the grape is gone.

If you followed that you are a saint.

What I'm saying is that deadlines, when not dealt with properly will destroy your life, even if you just threw the grape a little to the back, it wouldn't have screwed up the relationship with the girl in your drama class you have been silently admiring for the last month.(the banana) and if you had dealt with the project, assignment, payment as soon as you could have, you would have had a whole fruit basket for yourself.

But see now, lets say, you stomach it, you eat the grape, your project that you spent 8 hours painstakingly cutting down to fit to the word limit is finished, the deadline is today, your elated, once this day is over your finished with it. You look smugly around the class, to your left, a person is scribbling on what seems to be a mixture of napkin and toilet paper, to your right, a young woman explaining to your lecturer, in graphic detail, how she could see the complete contents of her lunch in her stools over the last 3 weeks. You looked down with a proud smile at your glistening folder, you put off a date with the cute girl from drama to finish this early, she understood, admired your for your commitment to your studies and allowed you a second try. This grape was nothing compared to the HUGE banana waiting next Friday at 7. You make eye contact with your lecturer, stand up and pass him your folder.
"Oh yes, well due to the fact that Timmy has ink on the last of the buildings toilet paper and Jenny has been inebriated, the deadline has been shifted to next week"
In the history of the universe has never been a better use of the verb "Face Palm"

That is my problem with deadlines, they pester you for weeks, then when they come around, they get moved, and moved and moved. Let me tell you, this would never have happened with the fat guy.

Joe Strange
Perhaps banana was the wrong fruit to use for relationships.